February is right around the corner, so what better time to talk about the concept of a “money date”?  

A money date is just like it sounds: time to shut out the rest of the world and focus on just you and your money for a little while. Think of it as you and your money going out for a date.  

If that sounds weird, consider your relationship with your finances like any other human relationship: the more time you devote to it, the more understanding, trust, and positive feelings result, right? The better you get to know each other, the more the relationship improves. That’s true with money, too. I find that a little time and attention pay off in big ways.   

Below is an excerpt from Chapter 6 of my recent book on how to take yourself out for a successful money date. I hope you find it helpful and most importantly, have fun!  

How to Take Yourself on a Money Date 

Engage all of your senses 

Before you start a financial task, create an atmosphere so pleasant that you WANT to be there. Let’s make it a game to consider how to engage all five senses.   

In the Peaceful Prosperity Workbook, there is a Money Date worksheet to help you get started with this, if you need a little inspiration.  

For smell you could light your favorite candle or incense. Sometimes I like to make a cup of tea, and let the fragrances of that transport me to a place of comfort.  

How about taste? (Here’s where Miss Manners’ requirement of food comes into play!) I like to have a tasty treat beside me while I work. When I finish one small task, I get to take a bite. Then it’s on to the next task, and the next bite… to me, it’s fun and motivating. 

What about touch? You could wear a flowy robe or favorite slippers or the softest sweater you possess. If you like to use pen and paper, what about using a favorite paper or a pen that gives you joy as it glides across the page? Or what about a colorful mouse or mouse pad that you especially love?  

Think about what feels relaxing to your body. Is it the sound of ocean waves? You can play that from any device while you are on your money date. There are even channels on YouTube that are devoted to beaches, so you can also visualize being on a tropical island. Or perhaps set a beach photo as your background on your computer or phone. Some people like to create a “vision board” with pictures of places or people that are motivating. Use your imagination!  

Use images and objects that feel expansive to you, to help open your mind to possibilities as you do this.  

My favorite is to put on some great music. I use different music for different moods: flute music makes me feel peaceful; certain rock songs make me feel uplifted; disco makes me want to get up and dance! Use whatever motivates you. 

When you put these pleasant elements together, who wouldn’t want to be a part of that–even if the task itself isn’t equally as fun? I believe that atmosphere is hugely important to getting a task done. Think of all the people who do work on laptops at coffeeshops: they prefer the coffeeshop atmosphere. I had a friend tell me she was far more productive in this atmosphere than she was sitting in an office. Go figure! 

Where Should We Go? 

Now that you have set the stage, what do you actually DO on your money date? Here are a few ideas, some simple and some more advanced. You may know what you need to do, or you may not have a clue! With practice, this will become more natural.   

• Pay your household bills 

• Pay your credit card 

• Enter your numbers into your budget (you can reference the fresh budget sheets you created in the previous chapters!) 

• Plan your next large purchase / vacation / self care 

• Work on your tax return information  

• File / organize important financial documents  

• Look at your savings account / compare rates  

• Track your progress towards your goals  

• Update your balance sheet (you have tools for that now!)  

• Look into your investments (more on that in an upcoming chapter) 

• Review your insurance plans (more on that in an upcoming chapter) 

• Work on your estate plan / check your beneficiaries (more on that in an upcoming chapter) 

• Engage in any of the activities / exercises in this book!  
  
  

What Should We Do? 

Some of these tasks may excite you more than others. That’s OK! Here are some ways you can keep the positive vibes going. 

1. “Eat the elephant one bite at a time.” Rather than approaching your task as one HUGE thing that MUST get done, break it down into smaller, bite-sized pieces. Your sense of overwhelm will diminish, and your motivation will increase when the task seems simple and do-able.   

For example, if you are tackling the task of “doing your taxes,” rather than telling yourself you will lock yourself into a room and not come out until the task is done–instead, try telling yourself you will simply create a folder for all of this year’s tax forms. That’s it. Once you’ve done that, your brain’s natural curiosity will probably take over, and you may find yourself thinking, “well now that I’ve got this folder, I may as well put something in it…” Then go ahead. But tell yourself you only need to put 1 thing in there. Just one form. Then sit back and give yourself a high five. Feels good, doesn’t it? Once you’ve done that, you might begin to feel like an excited child, pleading, “let’s do it again!” Indulge that feeling. Find just one more form and file it. And one more… If you get overwhelmed again, stop and take a break. Tell yourself you’re doing great and step away from the area for a moment. Moral of this game: You can fool yourself into getting a much larger task done, by starting with something small–even if it seems trivial–and psychologically lighten the load.  

2. Rewards big and small: I believe a key element here is rewarding yourself for good behavior, just as you would when training a small child or a pet. No matter how old or young we are, we respond to positive reinforcement. Why not use this to your own advantage?  

For example, I knew a salesperson who would put a chocolate bar on her desk when she had to make phone calls. Each time she completed a call, she would reward herself with a bite of the chocolate bar. This small-steps approach helped motivate her to make each call, rather than waiting for the entire chore to be done for the full candy bar. Of course, you can celebrate large tasks with larger rewards, too. For example, let’s say you finished gathering all that tax information. That’s a big deal! What would help you to recognize and celebrate it? A refreshing walk in nature? A luxurious bath? Watching your favorite series on Netflix? Rewards don’t have to be public or expensive. Rewards should simply express appreciation and recognition for getting the task done.  

When Should We Go Out Again? 

3. Create a ritual and stick to it. I know this can be the hard part. But if you’ve created a pleasant atmosphere with the suggestions above, it gets less problematic. Rituals also can really help with your time and focus.  

For example, I like to do my weekly financial tasks on Saturday mornings. I get on the computer and go through the bank accounts, credit cards, enter my business mileage for the week, and so forth. Doing this weekly takes me less than a half hour. I used to put these tasks off until tax time, when I had to wade through a year’s worth of data–ugh! That was painful. Now I take a few minutes every Saturday morning, and then reward myself with a pancake breakfast with my husband! 

YEA! Much better. Whatever your ritual is, remember that consistency is key. If you fall off the wagon, so be it. Don’t beat yourself up. Get back up and start again. 

Having playful money dates can help take the fear out of finance. So often we take ourselves too seriously when it comes to our personal finances. Yes, this is important–don’t get me wrong–but even important things in life can be improved by approaching them with a sense of humor and playfulness. And you might even find that you get more done!